Here it is. My first gift from the man that claimed me as his slave; a journal. And I have been told to write. But what to write? My frustrations, to start perhaps. Or even how I ended up.. in a collar and on the plains.
Apparently my family cheated him.
Still, to this day, I do not know the full details. But he came for me, this man, along with others. I had been followed, never knowing it. The guards with me did not know it either. They were slain, and I was taken, because my father apparently owed him.. something. I do not know if my father had willingly given me up or if he even knows, now, of my.. status. There is a side of me that is too frightened to ask. Would he have given me up so easily? His only daughter? I admit, he is a sneaky man and he has made a few crooked deals in the past. And I also admit, he is selfish. If he had been given the choice of his life or mine.. Well....
Well, here I am. A slave. A Tuchuk's slave. The day I was collared and branded, I will never forget. Up until then, I had shown my.. Master nothing but ire, with a tongue built of fire, easy to burn anyone with words. I had a... fit that day. A temper tantrum, if you will. This tantrum, I showed inside of his wagon while he was outside. I destroyed the neat little wagon, made it look as if a wild storm had raged through it.
I will never forget how calm he seemed when he first entered. How he eyes passed so casually over my destruction, as casual as watching a passing cloud. But within a single blink that all seemed to change. He rushed at me. I had never seen someone move so quickly. He was on me before I had a chance to even prepare to defend myself. I was helpless. And I was whipped. Harshly. Brutally. He used the belt he wore. And by the time he was done, I felt as if my whole backside had been set on fire.
He wasn't finished with me. He dragged me out of his wagon, hauled me to another one and had slaves tie me to this.. wheel. I was not prepared for what would happen next. I was branded. More pain. The smell of burning flesh. I thought I would pass out, and I could feel my stomach churning. Branded. A Tuchuk's brand; the four horns of Bosks. When that was over, he placed a collar around my throat. It is a Turian collar, steel, and it doesn't fit quite so snug. It is just loose enough for him to curl his fingers into it--which he has done plenty of times.
Then, he took me back to his wagon. I had to clean up my mess, my destruction. Even though my body screamed in pain. He showed me no mercy.I still have dreams of this. And I think that I probably always will.That very day, I had my heart set that I would always despise the man; hate everything about him. But now, I find myself battling other emotions that are trying to take over that hate.
Is it possible to love someone, and at the same time, hate them so much?
Apparently my family cheated him.
Still, to this day, I do not know the full details. But he came for me, this man, along with others. I had been followed, never knowing it. The guards with me did not know it either. They were slain, and I was taken, because my father apparently owed him.. something. I do not know if my father had willingly given me up or if he even knows, now, of my.. status. There is a side of me that is too frightened to ask. Would he have given me up so easily? His only daughter? I admit, he is a sneaky man and he has made a few crooked deals in the past. And I also admit, he is selfish. If he had been given the choice of his life or mine.. Well....
Well, here I am. A slave. A Tuchuk's slave. The day I was collared and branded, I will never forget. Up until then, I had shown my.. Master nothing but ire, with a tongue built of fire, easy to burn anyone with words. I had a... fit that day. A temper tantrum, if you will. This tantrum, I showed inside of his wagon while he was outside. I destroyed the neat little wagon, made it look as if a wild storm had raged through it.
I will never forget how calm he seemed when he first entered. How he eyes passed so casually over my destruction, as casual as watching a passing cloud. But within a single blink that all seemed to change. He rushed at me. I had never seen someone move so quickly. He was on me before I had a chance to even prepare to defend myself. I was helpless. And I was whipped. Harshly. Brutally. He used the belt he wore. And by the time he was done, I felt as if my whole backside had been set on fire.
He wasn't finished with me. He dragged me out of his wagon, hauled me to another one and had slaves tie me to this.. wheel. I was not prepared for what would happen next. I was branded. More pain. The smell of burning flesh. I thought I would pass out, and I could feel my stomach churning. Branded. A Tuchuk's brand; the four horns of Bosks. When that was over, he placed a collar around my throat. It is a Turian collar, steel, and it doesn't fit quite so snug. It is just loose enough for him to curl his fingers into it--which he has done plenty of times.
Then, he took me back to his wagon. I had to clean up my mess, my destruction. Even though my body screamed in pain. He showed me no mercy.I still have dreams of this. And I think that I probably always will.That very day, I had my heart set that I would always despise the man; hate everything about him. But now, I find myself battling other emotions that are trying to take over that hate.
Is it possible to love someone, and at the same time, hate them so much?
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